…inspired by the wood rabbit.

1. For some reason, leaning against the bright red gates (which have signs on them that say “Do not lean against”) that every-so-often break up the rail fence on the roof of the tower at Central Florida Fire Academy, and plummeting down to a very loud SMACK on the hot concrete below.

2. My razor acting as a cheese slicer, which then cuts an entire strip of skin off my leg.

3. At any given time, being broadsided on Maximillion’s side of the car by one of thousands moronic Orlando drivers who appear suddenly, because they are driving 95 in a 35, as I take a legal left turn on the green arrow.

4. 2012

5. Getting my eyeballs sliced by and breathing in tiny glass shards during vehicle extrications. Flushing with water pushes the glass dust deeper, where it is permanently embedded and condemns me to stinging blinking for the rest of my life. Also, obviously, chronic coughing up blood.